This is a an excellent question, and it’s great that you are asking it! Finding clarity and support with these concerns will hopefully help you feel a lot better and less worried and depressed. It is very common, especially in our society, to feel a sense of shame or embarrassment when thinking or talking about our genitalia and sexuality. The good news is that by asking this question, you are helping to normalize that these are important issues which most people deal with, and so we don’t have to be lonely when it comes to thinking these things through. Everyone has genitals, and sexual behavior is actually a basic need of all humans. Sexual health is a part of our health. It is important to be able to talk to someone who can help you determine your thoughts, beliefs, readiness and comfort with this. Therapists want you to be open and honest about what you are dealing with, even if it is very detailed. It helps them to do their job of helping you better.
A good first step would be to talk to your therapist about how you have been nervous to talk about these things, and see how they respond. If you are feeling more comfortable after that, then proceed with being more open. Talking about these things should be done when you are feeling safe to do so and on your own timeline. If you are still feeling worried, another good option may be to reach out to the Teen Text Line, which is anonymous, by texting 741-741 on any phone. Bottom line is that these things are normal and talking with your therapist about it is 100% OK!