It sounds like you could benefit from meeting with a qualified mental health provider to discuss the feelings of guilt you have around eating as well as working to improve your body image. If you are feeling guilty when you eat and weighing yourself often, that’s not a time that you want to be trying to lose weight because chances are that you will do so in an unhealthy or even dangerous way. Try to eat regular, balanced meals with a focus the nourishment you are providing your body, find some type of movement that you enjoy doing, and working on your mental health. You can also work with a Registered Dietitian who specializes in eating disorders to help you approach your relationship to food in a healthy way.
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