My “friend with benefits” sent a picture of his used condom and my bra to his friends, while I was in bathroom. I feel kind of weird about it, but do I have a right to be mad?

We am so sorry to hear that  you’re in this uncomfortable situation, but hopefully our response will help you sort this out a bit. A good place to start is always with communication, begin by sitting down with your friend and talking it out. Let them know that by sending the pictures to their friends, you were made to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. Be sure to mention that you felt your friend cannot be trusted and you don’t want it to happen again. Take this opportunity to set some ground rules with your friend. If you don’t want everyone to know your business, tell your friend that what happens between the two of you stays between you two. It’s super important to be on same page and the only way that will happen is with clear lines of communication. If your friend is truly a good friend, they will take the time to listen and hear your concerns. A good friend will take responsibility, own their actions, and apologize for their out of line behavior. Remember, if a friend tries to place the blame on you, it is not your fault and this is not the right relationship or friendship for you. Consider speaking with a guidance counselor, trusted adult, or medical professional about your feelings, as they might be able to steer you in the right direction.


Our health guides are developed through a systematic, rigorous process to ensure accuracy, reliability, and trustworthiness. Written and reviewed by experienced healthcare clinicians from Boston Children's Hospital, a Harvard Medical School teaching hospital and consistently ranked as a top hospital by Newsweek and U.S. News & World Report, these guides combine clinical expertise, specialized knowledge, and evidence-based medicine. We also incorporate research and best practices from authoritative sources such as the CDC, NIH, PubMed, top medical journals, and UpToDate.com. Clinical specialists and subject matter experts review and edit each guide, reinforcing our commitment to high-quality, factual, scientifically accurate health information for young people.