Thank you so much for this question! First things first, you are certainly not a freak! When we enter into puberty and become a teenager, we start to have more questions about who we are, and who we want to become as well, that includes what we want to be when we grow up, who we want to date, how we might do things differently than how we’ve grown up so far, and more. This is a typical part of being a teen, so having these questions does not make you a freak!
When it comes to gender and sexuality, media and our social world often puts an emphasis on “coming out” and being “completely sure” what your gender and sexuality are. Some people say they have “always known” what their gender and sexuality are, and once they tell others, they are locked into this identity forever. However, we want you to know you’re not required to be completely sure of your gender and sexuality before you talk to others about it. In fact, many people develop their understanding of who they are and who they want to be in a relationship with over many years, even into adulthood. Many people have a variety of relationships and present their gender differently throughout their life.
There are so many terms that describe how people feel about their gender and sexuality, and these terms are not a requirement, but rather a tool to help YOU describe yourself and what you identify with if that is what you want.
All in all, you never have to have a clear term that describes you completely! What’s important is that you feel comfortable in your body (like wearing clothes that make you feel confident! And taking part in movement and activities that give you joy!) and that you have relationships with others (regardless of gender) that help you be the best and fullest version of you, romantic or otherwise! If you ever feel like your body does not line up with how you feel inside, it can be good to talk to a trusted adult or a health care provider about how you are feeling. There’s so much to figure out as a teen, so take it one step at a time and find the good and trusted listeners in your life that will support you!
Our health guides are developed through a systematic, rigorous process to ensure accuracy, reliability, and trustworthiness. Written and reviewed by experienced healthcare clinicians from Boston Children's Hospital, a Harvard Medical School teaching hospital and consistently ranked as a top hospital by Newsweek and U.S. News & World Report, these guides combine clinical expertise, specialized knowledge, and evidence-based medicine. We also incorporate research and best practices from authoritative sources such as the CDC, NIH, PubMed, top medical journals, and UpToDate.com. Clinical specialists and subject matter experts review and edit each guide, reinforcing our commitment to high-quality, factual, scientifically accurate health information for young people.