Setting rules about digital technology is a family decision. The more you know, the easier it will be for you to communicate with your teen and keep them safe.
What do digital technologies look like?
Digital technologies include physical hardware (e.g. phone, tablet, smart watch) and software (e.g. apps, settings, internet). Digital technologies can be a resource for social connection, personal safety, entertainment, or medical support. Your teen might use digital technologies for:
- Researching information
- Playing video games
- Watching videos
- Listening to music
- Texting and emailing
- Using social media
- Completing school work
While there are many potential benefits of using digital technologies, there are also risks. Invasion of privacy, cyberbullying, and misinformation are a few examples of vulnerabilities of users. However, there are strategies to reduce risks.
How do you set your child up for success?
Given the integration of digital technologies with school, socializing, and daily life (directions on your phone, for example), it is unrealistic to expect your child to never use digital technology. However, one relatively simple thing you can do to help your teen is to model online and health habits.
Prioritize information quality and privacy
With the invention of AI technology and the growth of social media platforms, you may see a lot of realistic-looking fake information online. Make sure you model critical thinking by checking sources of information you see online, and encourage your teen to do the same. Another way you can protect your teen is to not share personal information about yourself or your teen online. Future employers and other teens could see what you post about your teen, and it may hurt their chances of employment or provide fuel for other teens to bully your child.
Be thoughtful about content exposure
Many social network sites have an age minimum of 13. That does not necessarily mean that being on the platform is a safe or healthy choice for your teen. Apps are not perfect at filtering content, and your child may be exposed to violent or sexual content without them seeking it out. Make sure your teen understands the risks of online usage so that they may make an informed decision.
Monitor thoughtfully
Imagine being a teen and having your diary read– that is how many teens may feel if you go through their phone. That said, you also need to be in the know enough so that if your teen is engaging in potentially harmful behaviors, you can intervene. Here are some less invasive ways to monitor your teen’s device usage:
- Require approval before downloading apps
- On many phones you can put in a setting where before downloading an app, your child will have to get your approval.
- Schedule time to check-in
- Instead of putting your teen on the spot, it may be helpful to schedule a time (every week, every month, once a year, whatever is best) to discuss not just screen time, but also what they are doing on their phone. Using your phone to connect with friends feels very different from just scrolling, even if the amount of time is the same.
- Be curious, not accusatory
- If you enter conversations about digital safety with a threatening or accusatory tone, your teen will feel less comfortable talking to you. You want to create a relationship where if your teen sees something upsetting online, or has done something dangerous online, they feel comfortable coming to you for help.
- For example, if you notice your teen spending more time on their phone than usual, instead of taking their phone away or looking through their Additionally, social media privacy rules and options can change over time, so it’s a good idea for you and your daughter to revisit her settings from time to time and make sure they’re up to date.
Cyberbullying
As mentioned above, it is important to make sure that your teen feels safe to talk to you if they are in trouble or dealing with a challenging circumstance. If your teen is experiencing cyberbullying, we recommend you share with them our .
Aside from that, as a parent, you can help support your child by supporting them emotionally and encouraging them to engage more in offline activities. You could offer to give them a ride to a friend’s house or invite them to a fun outing for some one-on-one time. And feel free to ask your teen what you can do to support them!
But what do you do if your child is a cyberbully? This is a more nuanced question, and while there is no exact answer, here are some things we would generally recommend.
- Consider enrolling your child in counseling. Healthy, happy children are not bullying others. While your child is not the victim in this situation, there may be something underlying that led to your child bullying others that needs to be addressed.
- Sit down and talk with your child about what happened. Explain to them that they have shown they are not ready to responsibly use social media, and that they are not allowed access to it until they show they can behave appropriately. Work with your child to understand the importance of their online presence, and how it can impact themselves and others.
Our health guides are developed through a systematic, rigorous process to ensure accuracy, reliability, and trustworthiness. Written and reviewed by experienced healthcare clinicians from Boston Children's Hospital, a Harvard Medical School teaching hospital and consistently ranked as a top hospital by Newsweek and U.S. News & World Report, these guides combine clinical expertise, specialized knowledge, and evidence-based medicine. We also incorporate research and best practices from authoritative sources such as the CDC, NIH, PubMed, top medical journals, and UpToDate.com. Clinical specialists and subject matter experts review and edit each guide, reinforcing our commitment to high-quality, factual, scientifically accurate health information for young people.