Internet Safety Guide For Parents:
Internet Predators
Who are Internet predators?
An Internet predator is typically someone who stalks vulnerable people, most often minors, on-line. In most states sex-offenders have to be registered where they live, however an Internet predator can be more dangerous since they are not easily identified. They may live close by, in your community, or they may live in another country.
What puts my teen at such high risk?
Adolescence is a time of rapid transition and growth, a time when teens are beginning to gain a sense of independence and also a time when they are curious about their sexuality. Without parental guidance, they may be confused, and tempted by provocative emails. Predators take full advantage of this curiosity and uncertainty. They will use any means possible to seduce teens, initially perhaps with kindness and compassion, even offering help with homework. Predators are clever and work at establishing a false sense of trust with vulnerable teens. Your teen may not be able to see the difference between this manipulative attention and that of genuine affection. Teens who have low self-esteem are at particular risk.
What are some tips to keep teens safe from Internet predators?
- Explain risks to your teen and talk about the good and bad points of the Internet.
- Keep the computer in an open area so you can supervise its use.
- Limit the number of hours per day or week of on-line time.
- Help your teen create an e-mail name that is not sexually suggestive and does not identify her in any way.
- Teach your teen NEVER to give out her name, password, home address, school address, telephone number, or individual or family pictures.
- Tell your teen to let you know if someone sends a message that makes her feel uncomfortable.
- Teach your teen to NEVER meet anyone in-person that they have met on-line.
- Spend time on-line with your teen. Ask her to teach you about the computer.
- Check with your Internet Service Provider (ISP) for how to block or filter inappropriate materials. Visit netparents.org for more information.
- Make an Internet safety contract with your teen. See examples at safekids.com or check out our Teen Safe materials at: youngwomenshealth.org/teensafe.
- Report inappropriate conduct to your ISP.
- COMMUNICATION IS KEY! Setting up guidelines and trust are crucial.
How can I tell if my child is having inappropriate contacts on the Internet? What are the warning signs?
You may find that your teen has homework assignments that require research on the Internet. Although some teens go to the library, many teens can complete their assignments from home. After school and evening is usually the times when most teens go on-line to do their homework, chat with friends, and also surf the net. Although sex-offenders are present on the Internet around the clock, most are on-line during after school and evening hours seeking to lure children and teens. They know it is a popular time for children and teens to be on-line.
There are warning signs that may indicate that it’s time to start asking more questions about your teen’s Internet activities.
- Your teen is spending a lot of time on-line - especially at night!
- Your teen is being secretive or vague regarding her activities but is on-line for hours at a time.
- Your teen turns the computer screen off or changes the screen quickly whenever you walk into the room.
- You find porn or inappropriate web sites on your teen's computer.
- Your teen is receiving phone calls from adults you don't know.
- Your teen is making calls to long-distance numbers you don't recognize.
- Your teen receives mail, gifts, or packages from someone you don't know.
- Your teen is withdrawn from the family.
- Your teen starts talking about running away, or threatens he/she has a "plan".
- Your teen is using an on-line account in someone else's name.
What do I do if my teen is harassed on-line?
Being harassed on-line can be a very intimidating and frightening event for your teen to experience. Here are some tips to help you and your teen handle harassment safely and effectively:
- Prevent it from the start: Remind your teen to give her username only to close friends she can trust.
- If, however, someone starts harassing your teen, teach her to tell the person in clear terms to stop: "Leave me alone and stop harassing me. Do not contact me again."
- If your teen was IMing, or in a chat room, make sure she leaves the IM or chat room immediately.
- Do not allow your teen to sign on to the IM or chat room for at least 24 hours after the event. Remind your teen not to respond to any future contact from the harasser as this only empowers them.
- Have your teen delete or change their username and profile.
- If your teen is being harassed via e-mail, report the harassment to the e-mail provider such as: AOL, MSN, yahoo, Gmail, or hotmail. All of these providers have a way for you to contact them on-line. Visit their web sites and look under "customer service" or "support".
- Save and print all communications between your teen and the harasser, including IM conversations, emails, and on-line chats. Keep a diary or notes and include any data from the harasser’s profile. All of this information can be used as evidence later, if needed.
- If your teen receives any sexually explicit images or child pornography, or has been sexually solicited by someone who knows they are under 18, turn your computer off and immediately report the incident to your local law enforcement or the FBI.
- If you feel there is a direct physical threat to your teen or family, do not hesitate to contact your local law enforcement agency and your local FBI office! Go to http://www.fbi.gov/contact/fo/fo.htm to find your local FBI branch. The sooner they can start tracking the harasser, the sooner they can protect your teen.
Written by the Center for Young Women's Health Staff
Updated: 10/03/2008
Related Information:
This health guide is made possible by a grant from the The Comcast Foundation.
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