Internet Safety Guide For Parents: IMing and Chat Rooms

Internet Safety Guide For Parents:

IMing and Chat Rooms

Internet Basics Internet Predators

Usernames & E-mail Social Networking

IMing & Chat Rooms On-line Safety Tips

Cyberbullying Helpful Resources

What is IMing? Is it safe?

“IMing” is short for "Instant Messaging" which is a way to have a real-time conversation with someone by typing from your computer or from certain kinds of cell phones. IMing has its own jargon made up of abbreviations such as “brb” for "be right back" and “lol” for "laughing out loud." In order for IMing to work, both people who want to IM must install the software. You may have heard of the two most common programs: "AIM" (AOL Instant Messenger) and MSN Messenger. The software allows your teen to set up an address list or buddy list of the people she wants to IM. Since IMing isn't as private as she might think, it's important for your teen to know how to stay safe while communicating:

Tips for safe IMing:

Teach your teen to ask for your permission before she downloads or installs any new programs onto your computer. There are ways to restrict downloading privileges so that only you can decide what gets downloaded. Check your computer manual and the “Help” file in your web browser.
Teach your teen not to respond to IM’s from people she doesn’t know or IM’s that contain odd-looking messages. Links in unwanted IM messages sometimes lead to computer viruses or to pornographic sites.
Make sure that your teen “signs off” or “logs out” from her Instant Messenger program when she is finished IMing. This prevents unauthorized access to her account.
Remind your teen not to respond to an IM if it makes her feel uncomfortable.
Create an open line of communication so that your teen feels she can report any kind of suspicious material or interaction to you.

How do I control who can IM my teen?

Sometimes it might be appropriate for you to control who can IM your teen. Many IM programs allow you to "block” other IMers so there will be no communication with them.

To do this:

Look on your teen’s IM software for “privacy preferences” or for a “settings” feature.
Inside the “preferences” or “settings” area, look for a “block buddy” feature. If you know the usernames of the people who have been harassing your teen, add those usernames to the “blocked” list.
When you block a person, you can choose an option such as: “Do not allow to send or receive messages”.
You may also have the option of restricting all IMers except a select group of allowed usernames. Select an option like: "Only allow these buddies", then type in the usernames that are okay for your teen to communicate with.
Teach your teen to use the IM "Warn" feature. In an open IM window, there will be a button that says "Warn". Clicking this notifies a certain IMer (and also anyone who has this person on their buddy list) that you have "warned" them. Once a person has been warned enough times, they can be restricted from using that particular IM service for a time period designated by the IM provider. While this can be helpful, it is obviously preferable to teach your teen to prevent or avoid harmful situations.

What are "chat rooms" and are they safe?

Some web sites or Internet services allow you to “talk” with other people in a “chat room” by typing and reading words. In a chat room you can converse with more than one person at a time, and with people in remote locations. Chat rooms are often organized around topics such as sports, hobbies and fan clubs. There are so many different kinds of chat rooms that it's possible to talk to people all around the world, 24 hours a day. If you decide to give your teen permission to enter a chat room, it is important to set limits before they begin chatting. Some chat rooms are considered “safe” because the topic being discussed is neutral, and because there is a moderator or chaperone leading the discussion. But even though a chat room has a safe topic, some people in the chat may talk about other things that make your teen feel uncomfortable.

Can the chat moderator make sure nothing bad happens in the chat room?

A chat moderator supervises a chat and watches over things in a particular chat room. A moderator can remove someone from a chat room if they write something inappropriate. However, the moderator can't prevent a teen from leaving that room, and going to another unmoderated chat room with someone who might harm or threaten them.

What should I be aware of before I give my teen permission to chat?

Before giving your teen permission to enter a chat room, take care to visit the chat room yourself, and see if it contains inappropriate conversation. Teach your teen that some people who go into chats may try to lure teens by pretending they are someone they are not, or may attempt to play out their fantasies by saying inappropriate things. Remind your teen that if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable or asks them inappropriate questions, they should leave the chat immediately! Your teen should feel comfortable talking to you about any inappropriate Internet discussions they encounter, but they also need to learn how to recognize and respond to uncomfortable situations on their own.