Relationships between couples are complex because they involve two people, and two sets of feelings, interests, beliefs, family values, and ideals. Couples don’t always share the same interests or the same ideals, even if they do share the same feelings. As relationships progress, differences may begin to surface and things can become complicated, especially if you don’t share much common ground. In a relationship, sometimes love itself isn’t enough.

There comes a time when you realize that you can no longer be in a relationship. Deciding to break up may feel like the hardest decision you’ll ever have to make. People break up for different reasons; feelings change, people cheat, and others realize that although they love each other, they can’t compromise. People deal with breakups in different ways, and there’s no best way to do it.

It’s important to really understand why the relationship is over and decide if that’s what you really want. You have to look out for yourself even if the other person wants to stay in the relationship. You have to remain strong and do what’s best for you. This is especially hard if you still have feelings for the person. There will be times when you want to run back to your ex, but you shouldn’t, because then you’ll just get right back into a situation where you’re not happy, but can’t move on either. You can try to be friends. This works for some couples but may not work for others. I personally think that if it’s possible, it’s better in the long run to stop all contact with your ex. No talking, texting, or emailing.

Breaking up is a long process. It starts before the break up and goes on after you decide not be involved anymore. Believe it or not, people don’t just wake up one day wanting to break up; problems build up over time and usually one or both people in the relationship feel like they’ve reached their limit. Part of the process is to figure out how to deal with the breakup and learn how to let go and move on. This takes time. In the meantime, do things you enjoy; hang out with good friends, and talk about or write your feelings down in a journal. It takes time, but it will get better.

-Erica